Just Get Yourself High

Enjoyed's Super Cereal Thread

Started by Bosco, Aug 27, 2015, 01:36

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No, no. No, manbearpig sightings here. Just good ole taste reviews of God's gift to man....Breakfast Cereal.

Figure this might be fun as you eventually hitchhike your way throughout the states where cereal is unbelievably plentiful.

The guidelines for Enjoyed are:

1. Pick a cereal to consume. List name, brand, and picture if available.

2. List what liquid base is used (whole milk, 2%, 1%, skim , almond, half and half, whole cream, no liquid [dry cereal] etc.)

3. Brief description of current mood before consuming cereal

4. Brief description of mood after consuming cereal.

5. Finally, most importantly, review cereal. (Try and stick to one review per week)

6. Delete my thread if you hate this idea.


Last Edit: Aug 27, 2015, 01:59 by Bosco

This is the greatest thing anyone has ever asked me to be a part of.

Do they have be things I've never had before? I can start tomorrow if not. Got a box of Lion Cereal waiting.
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

Choose whatever your gut should desire. Although, more obscure products might make this more interesting.

I can retrospectively review these weird things from Estonia.



They're called Wizard Sticks. Manufactured by Rimi, a supermarket chain in Scandanavia and the baltics.

Liquid base was semi-skimmed milk - 1.7%

Before I began the meal I was excited about the prospect of discovering something new and delicious. Upon opening the inner bag I was overcome with apprehension when I saw the size of the individual 'cereal' pieces. Initially I imagined them to be the size of a regular Wotsit (or Cheeto) but they were a good 2 to 3 times the size, which made the prospect of enjoying them as a casual breakfast snack seem a little more daunting.

Pouring them into the bowl I began to focus on the texture and colour of the cereal, which further fueled the apprehension. The pieces seemed very light, hollow. And the colour was not the golden yellow displayed on the box, but a far pailer shade, not unlike that of a sponge finger.

I poured the milk in and noticed a distinct lack of natural flow. The milk quickly seeped into even the upper most sticks and I knew right then that the structural integrity of the cereal was sure to be another let down. Digging in with my spoon I was able to collect a mere 3 wizard sticks onto what I consider to be a reasonably sized dessert spoon. A significant amount of effort was then required to fit all of the pieces into my mouth without spilling milk or dropping a stick back into the bowl.

The final step was the consumption. This was probably the most disappointing stage, as at least the shape, size and colour had their charm and nuance as a new experience. Eating the wizard sticks though was like chewing on a soon-to-be-stale corn chip. The sugar was over powering and not in a good way. The balance of sugar to salt fluctuated with every chomp suggesting a poor coating method during production. Furthermore, I began to notice the soggyness of each bite. Milk that has been trapped inside the hollow sticks would ooze into the mouth as it closed down, making for an overall stale-wet combination that ultimately left me disappointed.

My feelings after finishing three bowls of the stuff (because, I was hungry) were that of relief, mild sadness and a quenched curiosity. I shall not be purchasing them again. But am glad to have had the experience.
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

Damn this is going to be the best thread ever.
Never for money, always for love.

Well shit. That was a whole lot more than I expected. This truly is a passion it seems.  ;D

Bravo on your first review. Wizard Sticks is an awesome name for a cereal, but lacks everything else.


"Sweet"

lol
Last Edit: Aug 27, 2015, 03:02 by Bosco

I was skeptical about this thread.

And now... I'm in love.

Quote from: Enjoyed on Aug 27, 2015, 02:27


Milk that has been trapped inside the hollow sticks would ooze into the mouth as it closed down, making for an overall stale-wet combination that ultimately left me disappointed.


You don't know how hard I was laughing when I read this. Unexpectedly and amazing review Enjoyed.

You get a nom for thread of the year Bosco.
This is up there. Like, Star Guitar up there.

Quote from: Enjoyed on Aug 27, 2015, 02:27

I can retrospectively review these weird things from Estonia.

They're called Wizard Sticks. Manufactured by Rimi, a supermarket chain in Scandanavia and the baltics.

They look like apperitive snacks

Are you sure they weren't just Wotsits, Enjoyed?


IT'S MORNING TIME!

Quote from: Skyscraper on Aug 27, 2015, 17:42

Are you sure they weren't just Wotsits, Enjoyed?

I wouldn't have been disappointed if they were.
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

I'll be waiting for Enjoyed's review of the following two cereals as he nomnomnom's his way through Breakfast In America (literally)

1. Lucky Charms - they are magically delicious and if you grew up in a time when parents didn't give two shits about what kids ate for breakfast (a.k.a. The 70's and 80's), this was a cupboard staple. And if it wasn't a cupboard staple at home, you could always count on the grandparents having this cereal on hand. It tastes the same then as it did now, so it tastes like childhood.

2. Apple Jacks - jacked is right. Jacked up on sugar, that is. Come to think of it, it's good right out of the box, too. What's especially tickling about Apple Jacks is it doesn't taste like apples or anything remotely related to fruit, even in a parallel universe.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Quote from: whirlygirl on Aug 28, 2015, 02:17

1. Lucky Charms - they are magically delicious.

I was planning to have some this weekend...
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

To add to Whirly's list of some cereals to look out for:

Rice Krispies Treat Cereal by Kellogg's - I think the name of the cereal explains itself.  This is the K+D+B of cereal, Godlike. Texture and taste is perfect. My favorite cereal out there right now.

Oh's by Quaker- This cereal is either the best kept secret, or the most underrated cereal of all time. This is the cereal you find at the Dollar Store and you presume to be crap because "how does a Dollar Store  possible sell anything  of quality"? Well Oh's shatters that thought.  At $1.99 a box, it sticks true to it's advertising on the box, "Great Value."

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch by Quaker (... I think) - I enjoy all Cap'n Crunch Cereals, but the Original and Crunch Berry version can be overwhelmingly sweet at times. Peanut Butter Crunch is a fucking Rockstar among peanut butter cereals.

Honorable mention:

Cookie Crisp by General Mills -  I'm fairly certain this cereal was victim of a recipe change. I had this a few years back, and it just doesn't taste the same. When I was a kid, this was the best cereal ever. It was so popular in my area, it was difficult to keep in stock at grocers.  An absolute treat to eat, all the way down to the milk remnants. Who doesn't like eating cookies for breakfast?


Additionally, when I choose unhealthy choices like these cereals, I make sure to not cheat myself of flavor and opt for 2% milk. Anything less can ruin the meal, in my opinion. 

Cocoa Pebbles is one I'm addicted to. Best after drowning in milk for a minute or two. Quite the rush of chocolate.

And I absolutely agree with Bosco on Oh's and Cookie Crisp. I haven't had Oh's in ages, thank you for reminding me of them!
Last Edit: Aug 28, 2015, 04:53 by WhiteNoise
Never for money, always for love.

Cap'n Crunch has amazing taste, but it absolutely shreds the roof of your mouth. It's one of those pleasure and pain sort of deals.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Quote from: Bosco on Aug 28, 2015, 04:38

Rice Krispies Treat Cereal by Kellogg's - I think the name of the cereal explains itself.  This is the K+D+B of cereal, Godlike. Texture and taste is perfect. My favorite cereal out there right now.

This looks incredible. Gonna head for this first (after Fruity Pebbles, because it's been aaaaages).

Quote from: Bosco on Aug 28, 2015, 04:38

Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch by Quaker ... a fucking Rockstar among peanut butter cereals.

I'm so pumped for peanut butter cereal. Peanut Butter Toast Crunch was the last one I had (I'm not including Reese's Puffs because they barely register as PB flavour) before my local American store gave up stocking a decent selection of cereal. It was fucking great though.

Quote from: Bosco on Aug 28, 2015, 04:38

Cookie Crisp by General Mills -  I'm fairly certain this cereal was victim of a recipe change.

The UK version has had a recipe change for sure. It's still the closest thing to eating those delicious looking cookies from Rugrats though.

Quote from: whirlygirl on Aug 28, 2015, 05:09

Cap'n Crunch has amazing taste, but it absolutely shreds the roof of your mouth. It's one of those pleasure and pain sort of deals.

I remember getting some of these when I used to live in Brighton. And yeah, they were very detrimental to the lining of my gob.

Quote from: Bosco on Aug 28, 2015, 04:38

Additionally, when I choose unhealthy choices like these cereals, I make sure to not cheat myself of flavor and opt for 2% milk. Anything less can ruin the meal, in my opinion. 

2% will be the closest to my standard semi-skimmed so I'll be going for that each time as well.
I'm bringing my running stuff with me so I'll be able to keep moderately healthy.
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

I had this this morning.



Brief review.

W/ Semi-skimmed milk (1.7%)

I knew what I was in for when I started pouring and was ready and awaiting the sugar hit. I normally have a good half hour of slowly waking up before I do anything but I've got a band in the studio today and had to be up quick and ready to go. So I went from being groggy to eating this stuff within 5 minutes.

The initial hit is satisfying and, since the recipe change, not overwhelmingly sugary. I could feel my brain waking up and coming to attention like kids in assembly. The caramel is subtle but enough to make this not just another choco cereal. The texture is also top of the range. The pieces are quite small and retain about 80% crunch in the milk. But because of their size they are easily chompable and almost melt in the mouth, which is exactly what you want with the flavour of caramel.

Having finished three bowels I drank the choco-caramel milk that was left and am now rearing to go with my day.
dancesoitallkeepsspinning

If my pics upload, I will post. I am reviewing a cereal as if it were a beer review.

CHOCOLATE TOAST CRUNCH

Mood prior: I have the day off, so I am quite happy. I am also very sleepy, since I got like 12 hours of sleep, total, all week until last night.

Mood after: The same. Absolutely no difference. It is cereal.

Review (ASTMO format):
Appearance- Milk turns into a bluish color as it slowly darkens due to the cereal. The cereal, itself, is ridged and a dark, toasted brown. On the SRM scale, it is a Deep Brown (30). 2.5/5

Smell: Malted chocolate, slight caramel, sweet corn/flaked corn. Candy bar chocolate smell. 3.5/5

Taste: Fake chocolate, somehow cinnamon, dark fruit, sugar, slight caramel, blueberry, milk, fat. 2.5/5

Mouthfeel: The milk is smooth and slightly creamy, the cereal is a little brittle and quite grainy. 3/5

Overall: Forgettable cereal. Cinnamon toast crunch is significantly better. The base cereal is superior and I hope General Mills continues to focus on it. 3/5
i love chem bros omg!!!!!!!!!!!!

^thank you mr. beer advocate

Quote from: Enjoyed on Aug 28, 2015, 10:28

Having finished three bowels I drank the choco-caramel milk that was left and am now rearing to go with my day.

my sides!  :))


Lion Cereal has the flavor profile of dessert. Never have heard of it, it looks good.
Last Edit: Aug 29, 2015, 02:09 by Bosco

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